Marriage in the context of practicality . . . . .

February 21, 2005

86 million people . . . . . 60% belongs to the 15 to 64 years old age group, 36% between 0 to 14 and 4% from 65 years and above. With these data at hand, it is safe to assume that in less than 10 years, we will reach the 100 million mark.

But the population is not an issue here. No matter what the point of the argument is, I do not perceive it as a threat to our society. It’s not the babies being born every minute that bothers me. Neither is it the saturation of the major cities that concerns me.

The families that are being formed is what worry’s me. Statistics have shown that a huge percentage in the growth of the population can be attributed to pregnacies occuring below the age of 20 years. This means that immediately after the onset of menarche, female adolescent has frequently engaged in premarital activities rendering themselves at risk for STD, AIDS, Hepatitis B and unwanted pregnancy.

The Filipino youth has found itself in a critical dilemma. Curiosity, impatience and a blurred vision of the future has erected a new concern that will affect our society as we know it. The government, the church, the NGO’s and other civic organizations are focusing their attention on complex issues such as abortion, AIDS, STD and population growth.

Little do we know that these subjects are mere effects of a bigger issue, the family. Although this may take us quite sometime to argue about, lets dig in to this topic on a deeper context and implement a more rooted approach. Lets start from the beginning, marriage. Better yet, lets start with relationships.

When was the first time you fell in love? Okay, I’ll rephrase. When was the first time you were involved in a relationship? What age was this? How was it? Are you still with the same partner?

Of course, scenical as it may sound but I will assume that all of us have been in a relationship during our High School and College days. Statistically it is safe to conclude that people with the age of 20 years old and below has been and currently is in a relationship. The next question is, what kind? Given the current mindset of the youth, you only have 2 choices: One is serious and the other is a fling. In love 101 lingo, these are the choices that an individual has.

Its either you are really truly, madly, deeply in love with your partner or you are just fooling around. In reality, I tell you, both are equally disturbing. As I have said in my previous entry, love is a feeling that you can never explain. No science can define this phenomenon and no one can judge you if you are really in love.

Given these queries, I challenge you, does love and marriage coincide? Does the term love and marriage fall in the same context? Very easy to say yes right? Lets give another logic to this proposition: Does it mean that if you love someone you will automatically engage yourself in marriage?

Tricky, isn’t it? Lovers be careful. Try to read between what is not being said and make sure that you are totally commited to what you have just answered. The proposition above means that if you are in a serious relationship, contemplation on going to the next level which is a more serious commitment of building a family is inevitable.

So, again, lets go back. Given the current mindset of the youth that their relationship is based on love and therefore is similar to being married to one another, they will presume that it is okay to do activities similar to what married individuals are doing. Because couples love each other so much, the passion that is generated often results in an offspring.

True, right? But we always blame premarital sex, curiosity, aggressiveness, unsafe sex, the media and the ineffective family values that were inculcated in the minds of these people for the issue of “unwanted pregnancy”. Although I strongly disagree with this term because I do not believe pregnancy can be the outcome of something unwanted, I still believe in the fact that all of these issues can be traced to one word, marriage.

Nowadays, people marry and do not marry for the wrong reasons. Both sides have grave consequences because the sanctity of marriage is no longer preserved. People marry for money, for inheritance, for revenge, for anger towards parents, to get out of poverty, to legally stay in America or any nation, for business partnerships and other humerous claims.  On the other hand people also don’t marry for wrong reasons even with the presence of a child. Commonly given excuses, “napikot”, (Forced), “lasing”,(Drunk when the child was made), parents don’t approve, future is jeopardized and other pathetic reasons.

We all blame things that are easy to point out. But lets face facts, who are to blame for the destruction of the family. Illustrated are some of the common reasons given by a few and  it is in my belief where we can attribute why slowly single moms are increasing, broken families are rising, sexually related cases are climbing and our nation is being hampered by an unhealthy pattern of population growth.

We ourselves view marriage in the context of practicality. Like if a couple is young, still studying with the presence of a child out of wedlock, people will generally advise them not to get married so that they may have a chance in their future. Or that they can live out their lives with other people because immediately they assume that the relationship won’t work out. My opinion, these people are the most idiotic individuals I have ever seen. Those people who are advising young couples with children not to get married are the main reasons why our society is hunted by several issues like STD, AIDS, high cases of unwanted pregnancy, abortion and population explosion.

These individuals are also the same people who we must blame for the downfall of the basic structure in our society, the family. They are the people responsible for killing the very essence of education, the value of spirituality and the standards of morality. These are the same people who undermines the value of life and critically destroys the foundation of our nation.

Remember, the moment we prevent a family to be formed regardless of whatever “practical” reasons we have, the future is at stake. Our economy is dependent of the next tax payers. Our nation is dependent on next leaders. Our circle of life depends on those next in line. The sacrament of marriage was given to us to start the very essence of life here on earth. Marriage is love, love is marriage.

Let us not bring in philosophies that will change the meaning and the value of this sacrament. Let us encourage the youth to be strong and be bold enough to face the consequences of their actions. Let us never be judgmental nor should we punish them for the things that they have done. Rather, let us help them move on and support them in whatever way possible for the choice that they have made.

The pillars of this nation is the family. Let us always strengthen and nurture it so that we can hurdle whatever tribulations that may come our way. . . . .